Last night I was in need of an attitude change. I'd been feeling down and, well, a bit sorry for myself. Seems everywhere I turn girls I know are getting hitched, engaged, or abandoning the single life for the title of Girlfriend. No lie, this has began to turn me a tad bitter. So, I turned to my Bible for some words of wisdom. Expecting to find encouragement I, of course, found conviction. I read through the book of Ruth (because her devotion & selflessness are inspiring) and then looked to Song of Solomon. Thinking I would find hope and remembrance of how much my God loves me and assurance that I don't need to be looking for love outside of Him, He instead showed me a fault of mine.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" Song of Solomon 2:7 (NIV)
This same passage is repeated again in 3:5. I know my study bible says this is said "in context of physical intimacy" and I'm not saying it can't be interpreted that way, but for me it hit in context of my heart. I have the tendency to look for love in worldly men, rather than in my God. I desire a family, a husband, children. I know that may not be what my God has planned for me, try as I might to accept this, I still find myself longing for days ahead filled with my dreams coming to pass. This is something I was really struggling with last night when I turned to my Bible. I've had a crush on one of my friends for over a year now and I need to move past it and find my love in God. It seems as though I fail miserably daily. Yesterday I noticed I'd begun playing with the idea of liking other guys. I drive myself nuts. I have this mental rubber band I snap on my wrist whenever I mess up. If it were real, my arm would be black and blue. My mentality when I started reading was that of pity and loneliness, expecting to find hope and reassurance. The conviction I found in Solomon did more for my mentality than any "good feelings" I expected to find would have.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the
gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires" Song of Solomon 2:7 (NIV)
This may be the same thing we hear all the time and I know I was sick of hearing it, and saying it to myself, until last night. But God has an awesome plan for each and every one of us. Ladies, He loves us beyond any earthly measure. Our patience will be rewarded. Do no arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Any premature loves we conceive ourselves will be NOTHING compared to what God will conceive for us. His plan may or may not coincide with what we desire, but that doesn't matter. If He decides I can serve him better by never getting married, I know He will fill my life with joy and happiness in ways above and beyond. Jesus is a savior, a friend, and a lover. He knows the desires of my heart if only I allow Him to fulfill them. I can press into Him as I could no man on earth. He is the only man of whom I can say "My beloved is mine and I am his" (Song 2:16) and know that it is true for all eternity.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Paris.
In August, I had to most amazing opportunity to travel to Europe. The only times I'd be out of the country previously were to see my step-siblings in Canada, a place and time's I've come to adore. I've always wanted to travel and see Europe. At times this dream has felt so far away I thought It'd never happen. But in August, I boarded a plane in New Jersey bound for a city over the ocean, Paris.
That seven hour plane ride was one of the most exciting and terrifying things I've ever done. Before this, the longest flight I'd been on was about three hours. From the east coast to Paris is a seven hour flight. I watched several movies, started reading The Fellowship of the Ring, and took a ton of pictures with my sister. Lets just say being on a plane is not the way I'd just choose to spend several consecutive hours. We needed to sleep on the plane since we were arriving in the morning.
Needless to say that didn't happen.
We arrived at the hotel a few hours before check-in, so we got to nap in the lobby. We were tired, a bit crabby, and all in need of a shower. Our first day in Paris we didn't leave the hotel until four in the afternoon. Funny how sitting in the same seat and doing nothing will wear ya out. We were exhausted.
Wednesday afternoon consisted of walking the streets of the city and simply enjoying the beauty in the design of the buildings. We first came to l'Opera Garnier. Being a fan of the musical The Phantom of the Opera, needless to say the idea of seeing the actual opera excited me. I didn't actually get to explore the inside for a few days, but the outside did not disappoint.
Every building in this beautiful city expresses the most beautiful architecture. L'Opera, however, is one of the buildings seeming to go above and beyond. The attention to the smallest of details astounds me. For example, along one side of the Palais Garnier, faces of all different expressions adorn the top. I could easily spend an afternoon at a cafe across the street simply enjoying the building.
The next stop we made on our walk, we stumbled into the Jardin du Palais Royal. We entered through the theater, which exhibited some really unique architecture. I'm still a little confused as to this being a theater, but nonetheless I think it's fantastic.
Adults and children alike were climbing and playing on the pillars. You can even see one guy riding a bike in the picture. From the theater we made our way into the garden.
The garden is surrounded by the Palais, which houses government offices and therefore closed to the public. The lower level of the building houses shops of all kinds. Little boutiques and designer stores alike. I was able to forget that I was in the center of a major European city between the rows of trees. This garden's beauty and atmosphere makes it one of my favorite that I visited while in Paris.
We left the garden and walked down a back street until we came to the Louvre. The number of buildings which make up the Louvre seems outrageous. They just keep going and going. And to know that the museum continues underground as well. I felt intimidated. We never went inside the Louvre, we were all a bit overwhelmed at the thought of so much art to see. Plus, the city is filled with art. Every building and garden and street has art of some form on display. My favorite scene from outside the Louvre faces away from the pyramids toward the Jardin des Tulleries.
The garden, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, seems to capture the life of the city. People can be seen everywhere in the garden enjoying the beauty of the park and the weather. There are many statues, little ponds, plenty of trees, and little benches scattered around to relax and enjoy the park. We stopped at a little cafe to get drinks and just enjoy the fact we were in Paris.
We saw so much that first day. I think back on that day and can't believe we saw so much in a few short hours. It was a great day, and vacation only just started.
That seven hour plane ride was one of the most exciting and terrifying things I've ever done. Before this, the longest flight I'd been on was about three hours. From the east coast to Paris is a seven hour flight. I watched several movies, started reading The Fellowship of the Ring, and took a ton of pictures with my sister. Lets just say being on a plane is not the way I'd just choose to spend several consecutive hours. We needed to sleep on the plane since we were arriving in the morning.
Needless to say that didn't happen.
We arrived at the hotel a few hours before check-in, so we got to nap in the lobby. We were tired, a bit crabby, and all in need of a shower. Our first day in Paris we didn't leave the hotel until four in the afternoon. Funny how sitting in the same seat and doing nothing will wear ya out. We were exhausted.
Wednesday afternoon consisted of walking the streets of the city and simply enjoying the beauty in the design of the buildings. We first came to l'Opera Garnier. Being a fan of the musical The Phantom of the Opera, needless to say the idea of seeing the actual opera excited me. I didn't actually get to explore the inside for a few days, but the outside did not disappoint.
Every building in this beautiful city expresses the most beautiful architecture. L'Opera, however, is one of the buildings seeming to go above and beyond. The attention to the smallest of details astounds me. For example, along one side of the Palais Garnier, faces of all different expressions adorn the top. I could easily spend an afternoon at a cafe across the street simply enjoying the building.
The next stop we made on our walk, we stumbled into the Jardin du Palais Royal. We entered through the theater, which exhibited some really unique architecture. I'm still a little confused as to this being a theater, but nonetheless I think it's fantastic.
Adults and children alike were climbing and playing on the pillars. You can even see one guy riding a bike in the picture. From the theater we made our way into the garden.
The garden is surrounded by the Palais, which houses government offices and therefore closed to the public. The lower level of the building houses shops of all kinds. Little boutiques and designer stores alike. I was able to forget that I was in the center of a major European city between the rows of trees. This garden's beauty and atmosphere makes it one of my favorite that I visited while in Paris.
We left the garden and walked down a back street until we came to the Louvre. The number of buildings which make up the Louvre seems outrageous. They just keep going and going. And to know that the museum continues underground as well. I felt intimidated. We never went inside the Louvre, we were all a bit overwhelmed at the thought of so much art to see. Plus, the city is filled with art. Every building and garden and street has art of some form on display. My favorite scene from outside the Louvre faces away from the pyramids toward the Jardin des Tulleries.
The garden, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, seems to capture the life of the city. People can be seen everywhere in the garden enjoying the beauty of the park and the weather. There are many statues, little ponds, plenty of trees, and little benches scattered around to relax and enjoy the park. We stopped at a little cafe to get drinks and just enjoy the fact we were in Paris.
After the garden we started making our way back to our hotel, passing through the Place de la Concorde. This is one of the largest square in the city and one of the most decorated, as Champs-Elysees ends at Place de la Concorde. The square's most famous attribute however, may be the Obelisk. It may seem like the streets aren't particularly busy. That's because most of the city leaves for vacation during the month of August. Only about 1/3 of the usual amount of cars were in the city while I was there.
We saw so much that first day. I think back on that day and can't believe we saw so much in a few short hours. It was a great day, and vacation only just started.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Class Schedule.
Class Schedules. Things that in High School used to be only moderately exciting, have taken on an entirely different level for me in college.
Mostly I think this is because I'm in the middle of changing majors. Changing them entirely. From Biology to English and History. That entirely.
So now that my credit hours are no longer tied up in ridiculous labs, I can actually take classes that are... FUN.
I know. This is a new concept for myself as well.
Anyway, now the problem is I actually get choices. My list of classes I would like to take in the spring is only about a quarter of a mile long, and I have to pick approximately five. Yes ladies and gentlemen, five. However this does allow me at least one more class than what I'd get if I continued Biology. So that's a delightful bonus.
Yet still, I must narrow my beautiful list down. I'm so nerdy about this, I'm getting coffee with friend tomorrow to talk over teachers to help narrow my list. I'm excited to take these classes simply from their names. Most people would think thinks such as Medieval and Renaissance Literature, Ancient Rome, Victorian Period Literature, and Intro to World Civilizations would bore their socks off. Not me. See... Nerdy. But I am more than comfortable with that. I'm embracing the fact that I am nerdy. Just definitely not Biology nerdy. That my friends, is a whole different level entirely.
Not everything about this transition is so great though. I still have to get through this semester as a Biology major before I get to bookworm out. Rather, I have to spend my time learning about freshwater worms and other things of the fresh water persuasion. Guess it's all about God teaching me patience, discipline, and hard work. Yippee.. But really I guess it's not so bad. So long as I stop blogging and study... Oops. (:
Mostly I think this is because I'm in the middle of changing majors. Changing them entirely. From Biology to English and History. That entirely.
So now that my credit hours are no longer tied up in ridiculous labs, I can actually take classes that are... FUN.
I know. This is a new concept for myself as well.
Anyway, now the problem is I actually get choices. My list of classes I would like to take in the spring is only about a quarter of a mile long, and I have to pick approximately five. Yes ladies and gentlemen, five. However this does allow me at least one more class than what I'd get if I continued Biology. So that's a delightful bonus.
Yet still, I must narrow my beautiful list down. I'm so nerdy about this, I'm getting coffee with friend tomorrow to talk over teachers to help narrow my list. I'm excited to take these classes simply from their names. Most people would think thinks such as Medieval and Renaissance Literature, Ancient Rome, Victorian Period Literature, and Intro to World Civilizations would bore their socks off. Not me. See... Nerdy. But I am more than comfortable with that. I'm embracing the fact that I am nerdy. Just definitely not Biology nerdy. That my friends, is a whole different level entirely.
Not everything about this transition is so great though. I still have to get through this semester as a Biology major before I get to bookworm out. Rather, I have to spend my time learning about freshwater worms and other things of the fresh water persuasion. Guess it's all about God teaching me patience, discipline, and hard work. Yippee.. But really I guess it's not so bad. So long as I stop blogging and study... Oops. (:
Monday, October 1, 2012
Hello!
Seeing as how it is currently 2.30 am and I am still awake, it seems as good idea as any to begin my blog. So, Hello! And Welcome.
To start off, here's an incredibly condensed list of things which make me, me:
- I love Jesus, Mumford & Sons, Pride & Prejudice, babies, Autumn, my family and my friends.
- Elephants are my favorite animal.
- Yellow and blue are my favorite colors, though I am partial to purple, dark green and red as well.
- I am currently in my sophomore year of college and not entirely sure where my life is going.
- Small towns have my heart.
- Disney was my childhood.
- My unconditional love goes by the name of Lizzie and is a 6 year old Maltipoo.
- Writing things down is something I particularly like, however I am terrible at journaling.
- BBC gets me.
- Crocheting is hobby of mine. I like to make throws.
- My "baby sister" is 17 years old and a Senior in high school.
- Paisley is my favorite.
- Harry Potter Everything.
Seeing as how it is beyond time for bed, I'll leave you with a favorite quote of mine to think on.
"Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man can invent." - Sherlock Holmes.
To start off, here's an incredibly condensed list of things which make me, me:
- I love Jesus, Mumford & Sons, Pride & Prejudice, babies, Autumn, my family and my friends.
- Elephants are my favorite animal.
- Yellow and blue are my favorite colors, though I am partial to purple, dark green and red as well.
- I am currently in my sophomore year of college and not entirely sure where my life is going.
- Small towns have my heart.
- Disney was my childhood.
- My unconditional love goes by the name of Lizzie and is a 6 year old Maltipoo.
- Writing things down is something I particularly like, however I am terrible at journaling.
- BBC gets me.
- Crocheting is hobby of mine. I like to make throws.
- My "baby sister" is 17 years old and a Senior in high school.
- Paisley is my favorite.
- Harry Potter Everything.
Seeing as how it is beyond time for bed, I'll leave you with a favorite quote of mine to think on.
"Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man can invent." - Sherlock Holmes.
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