Last night I was in need of an attitude change. I'd been feeling down and, well, a bit sorry for myself. Seems everywhere I turn girls I know are getting hitched, engaged, or abandoning the single life for the title of Girlfriend. No lie, this has began to turn me a tad bitter. So, I turned to my Bible for some words of wisdom. Expecting to find encouragement I, of course, found conviction. I read through the book of Ruth (because her devotion & selflessness are inspiring) and then looked to Song of Solomon. Thinking I would find hope and remembrance of how much my God loves me and assurance that I don't need to be looking for love outside of Him, He instead showed me a fault of mine.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires" Song of Solomon 2:7 (NIV)
This same passage is repeated again in 3:5. I know my study bible says this is said "in context of physical intimacy" and I'm not saying it can't be interpreted that way, but for me it hit in context of my heart. I have the tendency to look for love in worldly men, rather than in my God. I desire a family, a husband, children. I know that may not be what my God has planned for me, try as I might to accept this, I still find myself longing for days ahead filled with my dreams coming to pass. This is something I was really struggling with last night when I turned to my Bible. I've had a crush on one of my friends for over a year now and I need to move past it and find my love in God. It seems as though I fail miserably daily. Yesterday I noticed I'd begun playing with the idea of liking other guys. I drive myself nuts. I have this mental rubber band I snap on my wrist whenever I mess up. If it were real, my arm would be black and blue. My mentality when I started reading was that of pity and loneliness, expecting to find hope and reassurance. The conviction I found in Solomon did more for my mentality than any "good feelings" I expected to find would have.
"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the
gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires" Song of Solomon 2:7 (NIV)
This may be the same thing we hear all the time and I know I was sick of hearing it, and saying it to myself, until last night. But God has an awesome plan for each and every one of us. Ladies, He loves us beyond any earthly measure. Our patience will be rewarded. Do no arouse or awaken love until it so desires. Any premature loves we conceive ourselves will be NOTHING compared to what God will conceive for us. His plan may or may not coincide with what we desire, but that doesn't matter. If He decides I can serve him better by never getting married, I know He will fill my life with joy and happiness in ways above and beyond. Jesus is a savior, a friend, and a lover. He knows the desires of my heart if only I allow Him to fulfill them. I can press into Him as I could no man on earth. He is the only man of whom I can say "My beloved is mine and I am his" (Song 2:16) and know that it is true for all eternity.
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